So in theory, lots of things sound and look wonderful and perfect...which is why it's called theory. But what happens when you take a well-thought out and heavily contemplated theory and apply it to real life? I was sure that quitting my well-paying job and trusting that the universe will support me in every possible way, while I devote my time to my personal development, was absolutely the right path for me. It's been almost a month since I've made this decision and embraced the freedom of unemployment and it's been incredible - reading books, meditating, working on my school project, spending more time with my boyfriend and friends, going to the gym, etc. It's actually illuminating to discover how quickly one can fill up one's day with so many tasks, appointments, and "must-do's". I don't know how I ever had time to work! Well, the fact is that there are so many things I enjoy doing and many things that I never got around to doing that I'm able to devote time to now. But all this "doing" is really the same as when I was working, just more enjoyable "doing". I'm not really "standing in the open gap" and creating a new way of being. I'm the same as before I left my work; I'm doing. And all this doing is exhausting! It's so interesting how easily our patterns stay with us, even with our best intentions to change in mind. So I guess my theory of becoming a zen master after I quit my job hasn't quite come to fruition yet, but this grasshopper is still learning!
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